Friday, May 27, 2011

"You Have A Social Disease"

(I'm posting this from a secret remote location using an ancient browser, so sorry for the typos and formatting gaffes.)

I received the following junk e-mail at work. I have altered it, slightly *ahem*, for effect. See if you can spot the change...

Maintaining a Venereal Disease-Free Environment in Your Workplace
Sponsored by Park Avenue Presentations
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Time: 1:30 pm ET (12:30 pm CT, 11:30 am MT, 10:30 am PT)
Length: 90 minutes
**The CD will contain the speaker’s presentation and the PowerPoint slides shown during the webinar.
This webinar presented by noted labor and employment lawyer Robert G. Brody will alert managers and executive team members to what you’re doing to cause venereal disease right now; how to recognize the signs that a venereal disease is at your door; how venereal disease can hurt your business; and what you can do to maintain a venereal disease -free environment.  
You also will learn about the venereal disease machine’s latest strategies to attack your company.  Finally, Mr. Brody will review your right to fight back.
  • Positive employee relations - the key to venereal disease avoidance
  • How venereal disease can destroy your business - higher wages are the least of your worries
  • Strategic decisions that can beat the venereal disease before it even begins its attack.
  • Key personnel policies you need to have in place NOW.
  • Change to Win and the AFL-CIO - the venereal disease Machine’s strategies for 2011
  • venereal disease Authorization Cards - the beginning of the end
  • Your team’s right to free speech in the workplace
  • Recognizing early warning signs of venereal disease activity
  • Staying venereal disease -Free - whose job is it?
Executives and managers at any company that is or might be facing unionization, particularly manufacturers, financial firms, Tiers 1 and 2 suppliers, and health care facilities.
Robert G. Brody is the founding member of Brody and Associates, LLC, a labor and employment law firm which represents management, founded in 1997.  Before founding Brody and Associates, Bob was a Managing Partner for one of the largest management labor and employment law firms in the United States, Jackson Lewis.  

Bob has been in private practice for over twenty-five years. He has represented both public and private sector entities across the United States.  He works in all industries and with companies that are leaders in their own industry, as well as with developing companies. In addition to providing daily counsel to management on labor and employment issues, such as the new health care legislation, ADA, FMLA, workplace violence and alternative dispute initiatives, Bob represents employers before federal, state and local civil rights agencies and in court.  

Bob presents seminars nationally and locally on labor and employment law and related topics. He has been quoted and published in national publications and appears as a guest T.V. commentator on contemporary labor and employment law issues. Bob is a contributor to some of the leading treatises in his field, including How Arbitration Works; The Developing Labor Law; and Employment Discrimination Law. Bob has also had numerous labor and employment law articles published on the Internet and in periodicals.

1 comment:

  1. Haha...I'd guessed that I should replace "Venereal Disease" with "Labor Union" before I even got to "Who Should Attend." "Higher wages are the least of your worries!" was the tip-off.