Zingers By Martin Luther

I love this so much it should be illegal.

"Botulism Before Bolshevism"

It has been a while, but here's a delicious little nugget from World O' Crap.

An Essay On Assholes

This makes me think of my step-mom (RIP), whose favorite word was "asshole." She had this great Mid-western (Chicago) way of saying it. Anyway, for your consideration and amusement:

How Fox News created a new culture of idiots

QOTD

" ... rape is brutal, and abhorrent, but sometimes, God takes rape lemons and makes baby lemonade in your uterus."

Source

QOTD: 10/3/12

From a comment to this post at LG&M:

As Jesus taught us:
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.
But give a small fraction of hungry men a useless voucher for half-assed fishing lessons and you can stop pretending like you give a fuck about poor people.

Amen.

Monks Were Weird Dudes

At least the ones who drew these.

News reporter FAILS 2012!

News reporter FAILS 2012! - YouTube

Mitt Romney and the Infinite Sadness

OK, yeah, you could do this to many people who are filmed all the time. But sweet Jeebus he's bizarre.

Mitt Romney and the Infinite Sadness - YouTube

Is this Sexist, Chauvinistic, Misogynist, Or Just A Dumb Crass Joke?

I report, you decide.

And if it is one or more of the above, please explain why.

BLR: Hunger Games (With Bonus JL)

Actual LOL funny:

Bonus: JL interviews. What a kook. I love it.

My Ears Will Never Forgive Me

Holy mother-fucking shit balls.


Text of the original post:

Back in the '60s, the legendary Mrs. Miller did her own covers of classic rock's biggest hits from the Beatles, the Mamas and the Papas, and more. The result is very different, very bizarre, and very funny. Prepare to be aurally assaulted. 

Just To Piss Off Some Liberals

The Onion pretty much nails it.

Best Romney Ad Evah!

Know Why Liberals Think Conservatives Are Racist?

Because only a right-wing site would allow something this grotesque. The link is to Sadly, No!, so don't worry about giving hits to a site that publishes racist screeds.

Cultural Sensitivity

A company, who shall remain nameless, sent the following in a Holiday Newsletter:

HANUKKAH BEGINS 12/21/11
Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday celebrated for
eight days and nights. It begins on the 25th of
the Jewish month of Kislev, which coincides with
late November-late December on the secular*
calendar. This holiday commemorates the rededication
of the holy Temple in Jerusalem following
the Jewish victory over the Syrian-Greeks in 165 B.C.E.
“Hanukkah” is a Hebrew words[sic] that actually means
“dedication” or “consecration.”

Immediately under that was this quote:

The only real blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not
Christmas in his heart. - Helen Keller

OK then. As this followed an e-mail from a manager noting that he's bringing "ham for sanatwiches[sic]" to the Holiday Pot Luck, I think we can draw some conclusions. Oy vey!

* - The "secular" calendar was named after a pope, and uses "Before Christ" and "Anno Domini (The Year Of Our Lord)" to mark dates. Can you feel the secularity?

Presidential Candidates As D&D Characters

Serious awesomeness from Funny Or Die.

[via Balloon Juice]

Iron Mike As Herman Cain

Herman Cain’s Campaign Promises with Mike Tyson from Mike Tyson

Headlines Are Hard (No Pun Intended)

From the Associated Press:
"KC bishop charged for not bringing porn to police"
I did not realize failure to provide the cops with porn was a crime. I'll be stopping by the police department with a copy of "30 Days In The Hole" tomorrow morning.

Elizabeth Warren Uncorked

[via Balloon Juice]

Tradition